In praise of imaginary dogs. Or Why Asher does not need a (real) dog

As you’ve heard, for the last several week Asher has had a wonderful imaginary dog that he puts out on the porch to sleep every night, brings inside every morning, and plays with every day.

I’ve found that imaginary dogs have several advantages over real dogs.

Advantages of an imaginary dog

• 1. Easy to train
• 2. No begging for food
• 3. They can go anywhere – in a museum, in a restaurant, in someone’s home, and nobody bats an eye
• 4. They aren’t smelly
• 5. You don’t have to clean up after them
• 6. They never make you feel guilty about not giving them enough attention or enough walks
• 7. Appear and disappear as needed. Need a distraction? A simple “stop licking me!” “doggie down!” “does doggie need to go outside?” can do the trick. Bored and want to move on to something else? No guilt.
• 8. Wonderful companion in the car, and simply disappear at the end of the car trip (avoiding any “you can’t leave your dog in a locked car” complaints)

Advantages of a real dog

1. 1. Um. Well. I guess they’re soft and warm.
2. 2. Okay, fine. There’s also that warm fuzzy feeling they give you when they greet you and cuddle with you.

All in all though, I have to say I would recommend and imaginary dog to any parent with a toddler.